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What is a Christian marriage? It is a commitment/relationship between a man and a woman that models the intimacy God intended to exist between Himself and each of His children. Let me explain.

Many years ago Bro. Robert Carroll pointed out to me that the first time the verb “know” appears in the Bible, it carries sexual implications. Genesis 4:1 reads, "Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain." Each time the Bible speaks of God’s children “knowing Him,” that same intimacy is intended. I am convinced that the reason God values marriage so much and condemns immorality so severely is because marriage is His object lesson to humanity of the intensity of the relationship He wants to have with each of His children. Immorality lessens, and ultimately destroys, the ability of humans to understand what a relationship with God is like. In His High Priestly prayer in John 17, Jesus prays, “3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.” It seems evident that knowing God, then, is far more than intellectual, like knowing what time it is. In this case, “knowing is relational and spiritual.

In a marriage, intimacy includes physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. How do those aspects relate to our relationship with God?

Since God is Spirit, interacting with Him physically is an impossibility. Interestingly, the pagan religions of Old Testament times did not accept that idea. Their worship involved temple prostitutes because, they reasoned or dreamed, through this intermediary, their worship of deity could have this physical dynamic. While we reject their practice, it reinforces the fact that, in those early days of human history, knowing God was understood to have a physical dimension. For us, however, Genesis 2:24 helps us to understand the exclusiveness of our relationship with God. (“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”) Christians are called upon to enter into the same kind of exclusive relationship as husbands and wives. We leave all other loves and cling only to God. To do otherwise is to commit spiritual adultery, and the Bible has a lot to say about that subject.

The emotional aspect of marriage, paralleled in the believer’s relationship with God, is broader than the physical aspect but just as critical. It has been called “loving God passionately.” Passionate love includes the idea of treasuring the object of our love, joyfully submitting to that lover (husbands to wives as well as vice versa), constantly seeking to know and provide for our lover’s needs (and wants, if possible), sharing of hearts and minds, intimate communication, etc. Sadly, it is possible to live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, and sit at the same table without any emotional interaction. Likewise, if there is no emotional interaction in your relationship with God, it is doubtful that you know Him.

Have you ever heard it said of a husband or wife, “He/she worships the ground their spouse walks on!” Christian spouses worship each other not as gods, but as gifts from God. That worship is a part of the spiritual dimension of knowing each other. Worship is far more than singing! And its expression will vary from person to person. But if you do not regularly truly enjoy times of worshipping God, if your inner being does not exalt in Him, it is fair to ask whether you know Him.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all Christian couples. And may your relationship with each other be an object lesson to others of what it means to “know God.”